


Say It Again

by khelgui



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, Novella, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-08 04:57:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khelgui/pseuds/khelgui
Summary: He didn't think it would happen again.





	1. Dare Me

dare me;

 

 

The spinner stopped at him after countless rounds around, and the laughter booming over it gave him a reason to regret that he’d ever invented it, the dare bet, as he’d ended up doing several summons that had either made him want to dig a hole for himself or punch someone in the face since the month their semester had started. 

He’d won the game more often than he’d wanted thanks to his obsession to not back down from fun. But only did the lost dares had left their mark, like three weeks ago, when he’d had to pour down a lot of tequila the same time he was to strip off (most of) his clothes. The dare bet was his greatest creation, a mix of the old school spin the bottle replaced with a Twister’s spinner board, cash to buy your in, and lots of imagination for dares. There was no need for truth, as the dares had no limit as long as no one died, and there was no need to consent to anything as long as the price for pass was paid. The one who executed most dares with the other player’s approval, won the bet and got all the money and glory a college student could get.

”For fuck’s sake,” Hyukjae snarled with an annoyed, half-assed grin, as he threw himself against the backrest of the dirty couch in despair. 

One of the top players and his senior in college, Heechul, smirked with eyes gleaming with fire. A bottle of beer hung between his fingers, as he pondered what to make the younger do this time.

Last turn, Hyukjae had had take a cold shower with his pants on, and the damp clothing around his thighs wasn’t a flattering feeling at three in the morning.

”Something easy, please,” he pleaded.

”Easy my ass,” Heechul snorted, licking through his lips. ”Here’s easy for you, monkey. I dare you to a two minute kiss with someone.”

”That’s way too easy!” Kyuhyun, Hyukjae’s best friend, protested from the floor. 

Hyukjae gave him a hard glare.

”There’s a but,” Heechul smiled, ”Along with lips, there has to be other body part included.”

”Like?” Hyukjae rode his fingers through his raven, messy strands over his head, ending up scratching the nape where it was cut short. His head didn’t sway as fast as usual, but he felt the bogus warmth down on his knees. He always did, the alcohol caused it every time, no matter the quantity.

”Take your pick. Fingers, ears, neck, butt – whatever floats your boat, dearie.”

Hyukjae bit down on his lip, taking a hustle around the players that were still left; most faces were his friends from college, except from a few that were friends of his friends, out of their usual circle. Red cheeks, droopy eyes and smeared makeup, emptied bottles lying on the floor, the serpentine smell of pot with crumbled chips and pieces of glass scattered all over the house, the list was endless. Someone would have a blast cleaning up the next day. 

”Okay,” Hyukjae said, straightening his back. ”Who’s the victim?”

A grin was flashed, causing him to groan.

”I’ll spin again, and the one it points to, shall decide.”

Heechul dispatched the spinner.

The air hitched on Hyukjae’s throat, as the hand slowed to point at Shindong, the burly guy sitting between him and Donghae.

”Ha!” the year older male barked and clapped his hands against his tighs in victory. He offered Hyukjae a shit-eating grin, before he turned to slap the other guy on his right side, who took half the space of the couch as he slouched on his back against the armrest. ”Donghae’s just the right man for ya, pal.”

”Well thanks a lot for the backstab, friend,” Donghae replied, sarcastic.

Hyukjae closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling. It could’ve been worse. Anything was better than making out with a garbage can.

”Excellent,” Heechul smirked, drowning the rest of his beer down his mouth.

”Boy, you up,” Shindong said and patted the dark dressed leg thrown over the backrest, deceiving a rather uninterested raise of eyebrows from the one who belonged to their mayhem pack in school. Donghae was Shindong’s closest friend as far as ayone knew; they’d been in the same lacrosse team forever and they both did shifts at Shindong’s father’s auto repair shop.

Evading the drunkenly curious and expectant expressions, Hyukjae stared at Donghae instead, waiting and watching him with a side-eye, taking in a better look of his black, relaxed fit pants, printed Daft Punk shirt under a red checkered long sleeve. Those, and the Timberlikes on his feet, the other rested on their side on the floor, gave Hyukjae an image of a hot lumberjack. Donghae was a guy of few words, but surprisingly, a one who didn’t mind about jumping head first into a muddy field to evade a rival’s goal, who drove his motorbike through traffic jam way over speed limit with the precision of a ballerina the morning he was late for class, who didn’t back off from a fight at the parties, and who happened to always be the one Hyukjae found himself arguing over the stupidest things with. They got along, they were friends or something like that, but people had already started calling them–

”Tom and Jerry finally making up, duh,” Kyuhyun snickered, throwing a handful of popcorn over Hyukjae. ”Still too easy though.”

Donghae glanced over Hyukjae, flipping a finger at him.

”You move your ass over here,” he mouthed, voice husky from the pot he’d smoked earlier, waving his hand for Shindong to move.

”Your fat ass could use the exercise.” Hyukjae glowered as now laughing Shindong stepped out of their way, halting at the other end behind the couch.

If the others approved his act, he might win again. Fifty bucks sounded like easy money at this point. The audience was on the edge, enoying every minute of it, as Hyukjae was usually a great entertainer during his challenges. So far, only Heechul and Irene, a junior who once ended up eating lunch with them and had been there since, were on Hyukjae’s tracks with the best results. This wasn’t a big deal for Hyukjae to overcome; he had already lost count how many students he’d ended up making out with, and not many had had anything against receiving a kiss from him.

Hyukjae moved closer, unconsciously licking his lips as he sat on his knees between Donghae’s spread legs, laughter bubbling on his chest as he did.

”I’m gonna video this,” Kyuhyun’s voice noted in the background, as Heechul pulled out his phone to track the time.

”Easy tiger. Hyukjae, you wouldn’t want to miss a second, would ya? I’m counting to three and you’re a go.”

Hyukjae let out the laughter that tickled inside his mouth. He hadn’t thought he’d be nervous, but it had been a while since he’d had to kiss a guy. Donghae seemed unbothered lying under him, but the bored expression Hyukjae was more accustomed to had exchanged places with something else. Donghae was fearless; there was no hesitation to see, and the darker layer over his eyes was either after-effect of the smoking, or just a way to trip Hyukjae over the rail. That wouldn’t be anything new. 

”Okay, here we go. One–”

But as he placed his hand behind Donghae’s shoulder against the armrest, leaning in and ready to make the most of it, Hyukjae had to collect himself.

”What are you afraid of?” Donghae asked with hint of smirk, doing the thing that might get Hyukjae tripping this time.

”Certainly not you.”

Donghae grapped the front of Hyukjae’s oversized shirt, licking over his own lip for tease.

The moment a distant three was shouted forced Hyukjae to lean all the way down–and his and Donghae’s lips to clash.

The girls were already screaming in the background, as Heechul started counting towards 120 seconds, but Hyukjae couldn’t hear them anymore. The first touch of lips was lingering, but the impact managed to kick all the air out of his lungs. Donghae’s body didn’t budge, giving Hyukjae the courage to keep going. 

For something so simple, he would not lose.

Lips brushed against each other ever so slow, their breaths fanning and blending together as Hyukjae started to get the hang of himself. The alcohol hadn’t been dominating him a minute ago, but now the warmth over his cheeks and low on his stomach and knees were back at it again the same way it had been hours ago. The giddiness and the slowing sense of his surroundings were there, and all he was able to focus on was the wet lips, and the fingers that were rolled around his shirt, the curious mix of smoke left from the smoked pot and Donghae’s fragrance that rubbed him off with a hint of pepper, tobacco and mandarin, laying out vision of a night bazaar and Donghae’s half-sleeve tattoo on his left wrist. It didn’t make sense, yet it fit together.

It came by stealth, the realization how Donghae’s lips felt against his; Donghae was soft and rough at the edges, and the confidence he’d had before had calmed down a notch, and it was growing into something else.

Hyukjae shifted on his knees, his heart thudding under his ribcage. The wet lips found a pace to follow, and he tilted his head a bit to the side. The grip disappeared from his shirt, but a new touch on the side of his neck was like a beat from a song he liked, and any of the previous hesitation was gone.

Donghae’s fingers got shivers running down around the touch on Hyukjae’s skin, and it didn’t take long when lips were parted, and a tongue slid inside his mouth, testing the waters. The tongue was strong and curious, and he couldn’t remember why he’d staggered to begin with. It was one of the good kisses; the ones who left him a little breathless, but this time, he’d had to be woken up to halt from it.

But the one minute mark had him thinking that he hadn’t figured out another place where he was to kiss.

Donghae’s lips were addicting, and it was a lot coming from someone who had had a dozen of not so innocent sleeping buddies in the past few months. The hot breaths against his skin had his head throbbing and his knees losing gravity. Donghae was something he’d never experienced like that. So far, the guy was his Tom to his Jerry, a partner in crime when no one had the balls to do stupid pranks with, the one who wasn’t much of a talker when others where around, but when Donghae crashed his place during the exam week because his brother wanted him out, Hyukjae had no problem. When they were alone, eating pizza and killing each other off on an Xbox game, Donghae opened up. Not a lot, but even that, no one would’ve believed. 

The seconds passed, and Hyukjae didn’t know what to do. The only obvious thing he ended up with, was parting their lips to have a brief takeover over Donghae’s flushed face, and take his mouth over his neck. The background noises, all the talking and aiding, giggling and gasps, were just white noise, when he kissed the cool skin of Donghae’s neck. His scent hitting over him again like a wash of rain was infuritating, but the way the boy tucked his fingernails tighter against Hyukjae’s nape, pulling the lips more into the skin, gave him a sense of success. 

Nibbling the skin above the Daft Punk shirt, he felt it the first time. The hot breaths Donghae had been holding were now meeting his ears. A hint of a moan which no one else could hear boosted Hyukaje to give him a suck that didn’t leave a mark. He trailed his tongue up, close to the edge of Donghae’s jaw, enchanted by the stunning sounds, and finally, a shift of the body underneath, as the leg on the backrest was pulled down, telling something about how Hyukjae made his body feel. Donghae didn’t hate it, obviously. But was it turning him on? The hoarse gasps next to his ear gave him a hint, and so did the blood boiling inside his own veins. He hadn’t expected the dare to get a steamy turn, but there it was. 

The hot lumberjack biker that had a wordly, spicy scent ended up being one of the dares that he’d never forget.

Hyukjae heard Heechul shouting one hundred, and he didn’t want to end it at there. He teethed Donghae’s neck one last time, before their lips were entangled again, tongues falling to a dance that didn’t ask for consent when it was already happening.

The two minute point went entirely over his ears, until Donghae bit down on Hyukjae’s lip and ended the kiss with a way that left unanswered questions shadowing the moment. Donghae gave him a look before a hoarse whisper.

”Two minutes’ up.”

The hand on Hyukjae’s neck came off to his chest, pushing him down from his high, right back to the couch and the room and the house and the whole party there was.

An amused smirk greeted him as Hyukjae took a breath or two.

”Okay, that was like… Like way too hot,” Irene whimpered, ”Kyuhyun, you got to send me that video.”

”No way, princess. I’m a sell this to some porn sites and get back all the money I’ve lost so far.”

Heechul pointed his fingers at his mouth, making a face.

”That was just gross.”

”Guess we have a winner,” Hyukjae hollered after a minute, reaching for the stack of cash on top of a low coffee table. ”Losers.”

Shindong shook his head, disappearing to pick himself another beer. 

Donghae lifted his arm on top of the backrest, tilting his head. The light strands of hair fell over his forehead as he stretched his other hand towards Hyukjae.

”Give me twenty percent,” he mouthed, eyes drooping a little from tiredness, but a look of dare gazed back to Hyukjae.

”Hell no.”

”Ten?”

Hyukjae grunted, handing him five bucks. ”You’re such a bum.”

”You wouldn’t be swimming in money without this,” Donghae muttered with a low tone, sliding his hands over his torso.

Hyukjae kicked his shin, but he couldn’t lie how hot all that had made him feel. Hyukjae licked his lips that were quirking up; he could still taste and sense Donghae’s lips on his own, and the scent was there to haunt him for days.

 

A flur of snow swept over Hyukjae, forcing him to lift up the collar of his jacket and pull the hood over his head. The air he exhaled took shape into a puff of vapour before it disappeared with the wind, and the cold was crawling under his skin at the same time the warmth that had taken over his body from all the drinks he’d had still boiled over his cheeks and lingered on his knees. The thick white layer on the streets and top of the roofs usually brought a smile to his face, but at this time of the night he’d rather snuggled under a blanket and slept of the drunkenness.

”Hyukjae,” a voice called him from behind, ”Hyukjae, wait!” 

It didn’t register immediately as the hood blocked half the noise, but when a figure appeared to his side, slapping his upper arm, Hyukjae took a final note.

Donghae’s hair was messy and a little damp after getting a snow wash few hours prior during the snowball fight they’d launched at the party. The street lights painted a reddish hover over the nutmeg hair that made Hyukjae think of a beach after rain.

Donghae’s cheeks were pink from running, as he inhaled deep breaths.

”What’s up?” Hyukjae replied, wiping the fat snowlakes off his nose.

A cold breeze brought back the sweet and spicy scent. It had been two weeks since the party and his dare, the kissing of lips and neck, the hoarse breaths against his ear. And for some reason, it had all come back to him on occasion; when Donghae threw a comment over lunch at the caféteria, when he stopped at his locker when the others were waiting for him, when he accompanied Hyukjae and Kyuhyun to watch the newest Marvel movie, where Kyuhyun threw popcorn over them again. At the strangest times and places, Hyukjae’s nose couldn’t hide from the scent, or the feeling of fingers gripping onto his neck.

Donghae crunched his nose with a scowl.

”Donghwa has a girl over again,” the male, just a few months younger than Hyukjae, murmured. ”I’m not allowed to go to my own damn home. Can I crash at yours?”

Hyukjae watched the boy; the patch of motor oil on his jacket sleeve, the rare, lingering smile that only happened if Donghae drank a lot, the relaxed and a bit swaying stroll. Swallowing, he urged the palpitations away. He crossed his arms over his chest, shivering. ”Sure.”

”But I want tacos first.” There was no hint of the tone he talked to Hyukjae at school. 

Hyukjae snorted. It was barely an hour after midnight, and Donghae always wanted tacos when he was drunk, so who was he to say no to that? 

There was no need for pointless smalltalk as it took about ten minutes to reach the TacoBell close to Hyukjae’s place. He was used to Donghae’s quietness. The unexected conversations always happened when they were alone, no matter the place or time; often, the inspiration to talk came at wee hours, in the middle of the night when Hyukjae was beat, but unable to evade it because when Donghae opened his mouth, Hyukjae wanted to listen.

But the joint was packed with other teenager drunks, so by Donghae’s lead, they didn’t stay. Donghae chewed his taco on the way, seemingly carefree about anything else. 

He couldn’t help but wonder if Donghae had those things too that reminded him about the dare. Donghae wasn’t one to share easy what he thought or felt, and Hyukjae didn’t think it as a good idea to pry. There were moments when Donghae shared something private, but that was it. In a way, Hyukjae got it. Although he was the opposite to Donghae – very outgoing and talkative most of the time who started to feel crazy after spending too much alone time – he wasn’t very good at sharing the emotional stuff either. He didn’t even know what he actually felt.

”Want some?” Donghae inquired as they closed in on Hyukjae’s apartment building. He was offering Hyukjae a flask, clearing his throat as he’d finished the taco.

”Seriously,” Hyukjae laughed, a little stunned. ”What is it?”

Donghae shrugged. ”Bailey’s.”

An eyebrow was raised, but Hyukjae agreed to take a sip after Donghae took one first. The sweet, creamy flavor started tickling in his throat the minute the alcohol came through, and somehow he found it surprising that Donghae liked it.

”I don’t feel like sleeping yet,” Donghae murmured, taking another sip and watching as Hyukjae unlocked the front foor.

Hyukjae eyes felt tired, but his head was anything but. He nodded as an answer, but he wasn’t sure if Donghae noticed it when the dark apartment opened in front of them. Hyukjae let Donghae step in first, following him and kicking of his shoes as he did. His legs shifted a little off balance, and he ended up steadying himself by gripping from Donghae’s jacket. The alcohol didn’t affect his head as much as it always ended up turning him into a bit of a klutz. He cursed, straightening himself and shaking the now wet drops of snow off his head. 

”You’re such a lightweight,” Donghae mumbled behind his breath, smiling with curved lips at Hyukjae.

He wasn’t even that drunk; the party that day hadn’t offered him a lot of entertainment, which had lessened his alcohol intake. He’d mostly spent the few hours gossiping with his acquaintances; really anyone who had anything interesting to share.

”Shut up.”

He had noticed Donghae just few times during that time, and they had gone back and forth for few words, but nothing else. The way the air was always full off rattling and disturbing electricity when other people were around was a little puzzling. Donghae was so casual when they were alone, as if any barriers had been stripped down. But it had always been like that. So far, Hyukjae hadn’t taken a note of any change that could’ve possibly come from the kiss.

His tv was blasted open, as Donghae was already seated on his couch, fiddling a console on his hand and taking a sip of the Bailey’s with another. Hyukjae fell down on the couch after a moment, watching as The Legend of Zelda started moving on the screen.

Hyukjae didn’t mind watching as Donghae played. Not a lot of words were shared either, except from the flask that they took turns sipping from. The alcohol started warming up on his knees again, and the low thuds in his head were noticeable enough to admit that he was getting a bit tipsy. But it rarely disturbed his ability to think straight; only a few times it had gone to a point that he’d done things that he’d regretted later on, or had entirely forgotten. And he’d have preferred to keep it that way, and at least Hyukjae wasn’t scared of going overboard tonight.

Maybe an half hour later Donghae put down the console with a groan. He’d been stuck with the same obstacle for the past ten minutes, and when it came to games, he didn’t have the best patience.

Hyukjae observed him, as he ruffled his hair and threw a dark hoodie over the backrest, leaving him with the same checkered shirt he’d seen on him few weeks ago. The damned shirt was enough to get the dare back to his head, and he unconsciously pulled his other knee against his chest.

”Let’s just...” Donghae murmured, shutting the Xbox. ”Talk.”

”Talk?” Hyukjae snorted.

”What?”

”Nothing,” he replied, ”It’s just funny coming from you.”

Donghae raised his eyebrows, shrugging his other shoulder as if something caused an itch.

”I can talk.”

”Well, what do you want to talk about?” Hyukjae leaned his cheek against the arm that rested on the siderest, head in a loop that wouldn’t give him a moment of peace. The thoughts did annoy him a little because he didn’t have the slightest idea if Donghae had anything similar going inside his head.

Donghae was quiet for a moment, before he sighed.

”I don’t know.”

But it was the sentence that Hyukjae knew well. For some odd reason, he always said it before he actually did start talking. It just didn’t say anything about what the boy was going to talk about. It could be anything from his brother that always threw him out when he had company, to some vehicle he was to fix but which kept giving him problems, to the fact that Donghae had once told him that he was pretty sure that he was demiromantic. Hyukjae had had to look that one up, but now he knew. But it didn’t make waiting for him to start talking any easier – it could be anything, and it was unnerving him to no end..

For a short, terrifying moment Donghae stared into the void, absent-mindedly going through his light hair with his fingers. But when the fingers stopped, and he bit the insides of his cheek, Hyukjae had to hold his breath.

”Have you ever had sex with a guy?”

And there it was. The conversation he’d been dreading, the one he had not seen coming even this time. He never knew what was going inside the guy’s head until he opened his mouth. And the question made the air hitch on his throat, and his back to stiffen. 

He would very much appreciate a warning next time.

”Why do you ask?” Hyukjae grunted, finding his cheeks warming up more.

”I’m just curious.”

”I mean...” Hyukjae cleared his throat, ”Where is this coming from?”

Donghae didn’t say anything for about half a minute, and Hyukjae couldn’t find the answers from his face either. Donghae was so hard to read it drove him crazy more often than not. The faces he knew were the grumpy, normal face that gave anyone the creeps, and the one when Donghae was feeling mischievous, maybe a little flirty and amused. The other were so close to his normal poker face that he’d yet to figure out the distinctive micro-expressions.

If Hyukjae was tipsy, or at least feeling the alcohol running inside, he wasn’t able to say if Donghae was the same. He didn’t have the reddening cheeks, or any slur on his voice. He had no idea if he’d drunk anything during the party before. The mere Bailey’s wouldn’t get him drunk that soon that much he knew.

The boy threw his arms behind his head, leaning into them at the same time he turned to give Hyukjae a glance. 

Hyukjae wouldn’t have dared to say how sexy the scene was; it was hard enough to admit out loud inside his head. 

”I’ve just been messing with the thought,” Donghae finally noted, but it didn’t seem to be a thought that had had him questioning everything about himself.

”Just messing with it,” Hyukjae repeated, not really knowing what to say. But it did cause some turbulence in him; he didn’t want to, but it was impossible to try lowering the volume of his own curiosity. Donghae sitting there on his couch, in his apartment, two weeks after the dare that had Hyukjae getting shivers around his nape everytime his scent hit him with the pepper and citrus fruit, motor oil and alcohol, really had his head go haywire.

Was he the only one who couldn’t forget?

Donghae’s hazel brown eyes shifted back to Hyukjae, and Hyukjae wasn’t sure if the boy did it on purpose; the tip of a tongue sliding over his lower lip.

”So have you?”

”Have you?” he threw the question back. Hyukjae didn’t find the guts to answer it, even if the answer would’ve been a simple no.

Donghae mulled over the same question a bit too long. ”I don’t think that making out with a guy counts.”

”Not really, I guess.”

”And you know the last person I was making out with.”

Hyukjae was afraid he would seize up.

”But was I your last?” Donghae shifted on his seat, turning his body towards the other. 

His eyes were intense, and Hyukjae had not seen that one before; the usual glaze of a bottle bottom eyes were turning a new page. It was as if a switch had been turned, and he couldn’t possibly assume he had anything to do with it. 

Hyukjae tried to swallow every bit of uncertainty that was flaming over him. He didn’t want the boy to think he was intimidated because of him now that they were alone. It had been so easy to do stuff when other people were around, silently keeping a fence around them that prevented from escaping anything that was safe. Now, there wouldn’t be a shock to force him to fall back to his place.

”Yeah,” Hyukjae grumbled, but as if the alcohol took over, not giving him a chance to think further, he went on, ”You liked it, didn’t you?” He regretted it, immediately, but he could not go back from it now.

And he saw it; a second of Donghae being shook over the question. But it was gone as fast as it came. Donghae turned his gaze a bit to the side, giving more fuel to the fire Hyukjae got from it.

”I mean, I didn’t imagine it, did I?” Hyukjae tilted his head, biting his tongue. ”Did it turn you on?”

Donghae clicked his tongue instead. ”I don’t know, it was kinda hard not to, you going all over me like that.”

A smirk lurked up to the corner of Hyukjae’s mouth.

”I bet you wouldn’t stay sane either,” Donghae continued wit a low tone, a one Hyukjae felt up on his nape. ”You couldn’t exactly stop doing it before I made you.”

It was Hyukjae’s turn to steer his gaze away.

”I just couldn’t hear Heechul over all the noise,” he grunted.

”Yeah?” Donghae laughed, something about his posture stiffening. It was a minute after, when he spoke again. ”Can you take a counter-dare?”

”A what?” Hyukjae could hear the beats of his heart up in his ears. 

”If you can stay quiet for two minutes if I do you? With the same rules, only lips and neck,” Donghae explained, as if it had nothing to do with kisses and tongue. It was impossible to see if it made him feel as anxious as it did Hyukjae.

For the first time in while he wanted to decline – not for the obvious reasons, but for the fact that the stakes of actually getting high from it were bigger than even hoping he wouldn’t get anything out of it. It was a dangerous game, but Hyukjae wasn’t someone to back off any of them. It was only Donghae. They had done it before. What was there to be afraid of, really? 

But it was also an entirely different thing than before; there was no audience this time. Just them. Alone.

”Okay,” he said with a breath, ”But I’m not coming to you again. You move. Unless you're afraid of something?” He repeated the same question Donghae had asked him back then. And it was obvious Donghae remembered it as a smirk drew over Donghae’s lips and in the gleams of his eyes, as he took out his phone as he first stepped just in front of Hyukjae’s knee that laid on the couch. He fiddled the phone as Hyukjae watched, the thuds in his head getting louder and louder, his scent tangling and messing up with his head, his insides burning and shouting run, run, run.

Donghae rose his gaze to his, the hazels bubbling, so close that it knocked every breath out of Hyukjae’s lungs. He was afraid of the eyes. The burning and blazing. The dare. The knowing.

”Two minutes,” Donghae hushed, and it hit like a freezing wave of water when the young man placed his palm on Hyukjae’s knee, took a step closer, and bent down to his neck.

Straight to the neck. And it caused Hyukjae to jolt, and instantly melt back down into the couch. 

But he had to remember it was just a dare. Just a dare. Just Donghae. He just had to keep quiet for two minutes, he could possibly manage something like that, could he?

Could he, really…?


	2. Trust Me

trust me;

 

Hyukjae didn’t want Donghae to kiss him. 

The lips going slow over his skin were burning his neck like hot coals. A touch that got him hissing and cursing in the back of his mind, already regretting that he’d agreed to the damn thing. Kissing at the party had been different. He’d been in control. Now Donghae had the strings, and it scared the living daylights out of him; because Donghae was pleasure, and the pain of enjoying was too much, too much of a mind fuck – something he’d known from the start he would like, propably sink into as fast as an anchor. 

Hyukjae had to bite his tongue between his teeth as Donghae grazed over his jawline and left smothering butterflies on his sensitive skin. 

It had merely been half a minute, and the long overdue collapse of their lips was making him insane. His breaths were already ragged and erratic and breathing through his nose was almost impossible when the clear signs of pleasure had been climbing up his throat towards his lips the minute it all started. He had enjoyed it at the party–they both had–so why on earth had he thought that it wasn’t a big deal to let Donghae ravage him with such explosive kisses? Why had he ever thought that kissing Donghae didn’t mean anything, when everything inside him was as if a storm was passing by, over and over?

He didn’t notice his fingers clasping around the wrist placed on the couch on his side. The wrist with a tattoo of storming black waves; the waves he wanted Donghae to submerge him with, the storm that would leave him in ruins.

Writhing around as little as possible, eyes shut so tight as if it would’ve helped him to focus on keeping quiet, the long seconds passed by. Hyukjae was so afraid of Donghae’s next move; the one after teeth sliding over his high pulse, the one after it all came to a halt and Hyukjae felt cold again.

The silence, the lack of touch took a second to register, and another for his eyes to open.

And as he looked up, gaze locking to a dark one hovering right over him, thin lips now swollen and both chests rising and going down simultaneously, Hyukjae devoured the sight. Donghae was the one breathing hard. The messy strands of hair were scattered over his forehead and his eyes were deep as the ocean to stare at, and the calm before the storm was making him crazy. There had always been something mysterious about the boy; something that had intrigued him and had made him want to open every secret door there was about him. 

It was even worse now.

His insides were already thundering out loud, and he only managed to take a deep and rough inhale without letting out a needy breath when Donghae made a move and shifted. Hyukjae felt the boy’s other hand falling on his neck the same way he’d done two weeks ago, giving him a glare of dazed eyes that might have been a little infuriated about the fact that Hyukjae hadn’t uttered a single mouthy sigh, even though it had taken his everything to keep them from escaping. He saw the determination; the fierce glaze that wanted Hyukjae to let loose – to just give up. 

Donghae was close to breaking him, and he knew it damn well himself.

When Donghae ducked in to an open mouthed kiss with lots of tongue and a shaggy exhale, Hyukjae’s fingernails sunk deeper into the inked skin, despite every voice screaming inside his head to back off. He hadn’t wanted the kiss to happen because he knew he’d be too far gone at that point. The lips were too perfect against his. Too confident, too warm and daunting. They made him want more; more lips, more tongue, more dance and more everything as he answered to it as if he had a deathly fever for it. 

But it wasn’t fair; it wasn’t fair at all when Donghae took his hand away from his neck, and freed his other from his clasp, only to pull him down on his back on the couch, and let their hips touch. 

Fallen on his back on the cushions, Hyukjae gawked the boy. His fearlesness; the eyes that froze time and stood upon him as a starless night sky waiting for the first gleam of light. No one had ever looked at him like that. For the first time, he really felt lightweight, as if Donghae had made the gravity disappear. And he couldn’t believe anyone ever could, but then the soft and rough fingertips drifted along his neck, and the pressure over his hips deepened and it hit him what the boy was doing; how it made him feel; how the endless pit on his stomach grew wider and wider. Donghae was definitely cheating, and Hyukjae hated him for it. 

But it didn’t matter because he was back at Hyukjae’s neck again, sucking the skin and nibbling with gentle teeth. 

And that was it, it was the last straw; the line Hyukjae couldn’t cross without letting out a throaty moan as a tongue slid over his throat, and Donghae was getting hard against him, and so was he, and it was too much to take, too much to comprehend.

And he wanted more.

He’d already lost. It hadn’t been even two minutes as another moan slid through his dry lips when the lips trailed close to his right ear the same time the hips made a first move back and forth, forcing him to arch his back against them and throw his hands into Donghae’s rough hair. Cursing under his breath, Hyukjae had to push Donghae off his neck to have the lips on his own.

And it was a slowburn of tongues, hard gasps into other’s mouth and lip bites and hair pulling, the dare merely a distanct echo in Hyukjae’s mind at that point. He wasn’t able to think straight even if the warning bells rang loud somewhere, telling it was too much too fast, but he didn’t want it any other way when his fingertips dug into Donghae’s hairline and Donghae’s fingernails left needy marks on his shoulder. He knew where this road could take. He didn’t want to take an u-turn, but for a short moment when his head didn’t feel so foggy gave him the chance shove the lips off from his just an inch away against his will.

Donghae’s eyes were so full of something unraveled that it was hard for Hyukjae to remember how to speak again. The boy stared down on him, leaning against the hand that kept them apart. Donghae’s heart against his palm was beating so fast that he almost felt it in his bones as the body was so close to his own, their chests merely inches apart. He hadn’t thought it would end up like this; him wanting Donghae so bad, in a way he might have never wanted anyone. They were just friends. They were day and night, the party animal and the wallflower, the two parts of a one system that needed each other to function. If it was even possible, Hyukjae’s insides screwed up tighter, and the flow of blood turned into a flood. 

And as he gazed into the abyss of hazel, the expression over him softening a notch as it went on, a hand touched Hyukjae’s waist and crept under the hem of his shirt. Shivers ran down his sides as Donghae observed him closely, drawing a trail with his hand on Hyukjae’s skin. Between his shallow breaths, Hyukjae found the name again.

”Donghae,” he whispered with a husky, rough voice that broke at the end. 

The stealthy swaying of hips rubbing against his crotch had a harsh moan slide up from his throat as he tried to speak up.

”Y-you’re a fucking cheat,” Hyukjae rasped out, the same time Donghae caused his hips to arch upwards again as he watched the younger boy from under his dark fringe. As he bit his tongue, he didn’t see a sign of fear in Donghae’s eyes. Everything there was, was filled with lust and desire; the high Hyukjae had given him. And the fact finally sunk in.

Donghae wanted him. 

As Donghae then lowered down to steal another daring kiss with a roll of hips, everything he’d wanted, or thought he had wanted to say, disappeared into thin air.

The lips were still touching his, a breath fanning over the swollen skin, as Donghae slipped his hand under Hyukjae’s black shirt, the tips of his fingers causing chills to start covering Hyukjae’s fair skin. 

”Do you trust me?” he asked. 

The words were heavy and it was as if the touch could’ve burned through. For a moment Donghae’s expression was almost as soft as water, and Hyukjae was afraid he could drown in it. And the voice – his voice was so low and hot that it drove Hyukjae nuts. 

He felt his cock pulsating inside his pants, and Donghae must’ve felt it too, as his fingers slid lower, stopping at the belt of Hyukjae’s jeans. 

It could be a rocky road to stumble down to, and there was no guarantee he wouldn’t get hurt at the bottom. His head was screaming for help to no avail, for no one to hear. Nothing made sense. He’d never even thought about it before the certain party, but in the darkness that got mixed with the cold fluorescent lights coming from the outside, Donghae was stunning. The finger fiddling his belt buckle didn’t scare the shit out of him. Donghae didn’t scare him. Even above all the craziness, Donghae made him feel at ease. Buildings could’ve collapsed and the world could’ve crumbled to ashes and Hyukjae wouldn’t have cared. It gave Hyukjae the strenght to jokinly reply a breathy ”No” and then pull him into another of the countless kisses, sliding his own hand between their bodies, tentatively skimming over Donghae’s clothed hard-on to make him moan out loud instead.

The sound against his ear got him to shut his eyes. No other person had made him feel that way–and there were no words to describe what that actually was.

But against all the odds, he trusted Donghae. Down on his stomach and down low on his bones he knew the boy wouldn’t do anything that they both wouldn’t want. Donghae wouldn’t do anything he’d say against to. There were no promises, no questions asked if Donghae would be there when the moon fell and the sun rose; if there would be anything more but pleasure and untitled agreement for one night to last, but it was enough. One night – it was enough.

Hyukjae sat up on the couch, pushing Donghae with him. The boy lied on his lap, his thighs around Hyukjae’s as hands circled around his cheeks, lips colliding once more with curious and prudent brushes of lips. Teeth bit Hyukjae’s lower lip questioningly, and he felt a smirk building up to Donghae’s lips, and he liked it, he loved it. And it had never felt better on anyone else’s lips. Only Donghae’s.

Donghae left a hard breath next to his ear. ”Fuck you, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae swallowed and shut his eyes for a second as the chills ran hot and cold down his shoulders. Even if he had alcohol running through his veins, he couldn’t have been more clear headed. It was overwhelming, but it didn’t make him want the other any less.

”Aren’t you about to…?”

Donghae’s fingers curled around the collar of Hyukjae’s shirt as he gave him a light bite on the earlobe until the hands lowered at the edge of it and slowly pulled his shirt up and off. The sleeveless shirt fell on the floor next to the couch, revealing Hyukjae’s bare chest. Donghae tilted his head up, oggling the sight with half-shut, dreamy eyes.

Hyukjae stared back. Donghae had seen him shirtless before, but had the same expression been there before, hidden under everything else? Had Donghae always looked at him like that?

It seemed there was something on top of the boy’s tongue, but nothing was said as Hyukjae almost fell backwards from the force of the kiss that told him enough what was going inside Donghae’s head. 

Donghae’s voice was thick yet soft like smog as he opened his mouth to whisper, ”Bedroom?” 

And there was a tint of uncertainty that got Hyukjae’s stomach churning. It wasn’t uncertain because of what was about to become, but because of who. He hadn’t thought Donghae could be unsure about anything, but the reality was different. Hyukjae wanted Donghae to know that he wanted him as much as he did, so he pushed them both on their feet, his hands sneaking under the boy’s checkered flannel shirt and onto his hips, pulling him close. 

”Yes.”

The gaze looking through swallowed him like burning, soft flames, and he wanted everything to him himself as lips touched lips and legs started stumbling with legs.

The way to his bedroom had never felt so fast. His hands couldn’t get enough of the skin when they wandered over Donghae’s hips and around the waistband of his pants, ending up fiddling with its buttons. Donghae reacted to every touch with a quiver or a loud breath, and Hyukjae wanted it all, and it sunk deeper how much he was attracted to the young man, how everything about him was pulling Hyukjae towards him like a magnet.

He thought about Donghae’s laugh, the rare yet wide quirky smile that made him want to beam even when he was scoffing; he thought about the first time he’d met him at the cafeteria and how they had instantly started arguing over chocolate pudding; he thought about Donghae smoking and how the smoke always lingered over his lips after a puff; and he thought about his lips and his tongue inside his mouth, his fingers opening his belt as he crashed his bedroom door his hand inside his jeans.

A low moan fell off his lips and his eyes rolled backwards.

Donghae’s face was barely an inch away from his own as a slow stroke went over his boxers. His eyes watched Hyukjae like a hawk, and it took everything to keep his legs steady. The breaths against his lips made him want to kiss Donghae again, but the touch was just too much; he couldn’t do anything. It was like a spell, and the gaze didn’t help because he just wanted to be drowned in it. There was nothing else going on inside his head but Donghae.

And when teeth bit down his lower lip, following it with a nudge of tongue, Hyukjae found a tiny bit of strenght to slide his hands up to Donghae’s chest. Hands shaking in heightening excitement, the buttons started to open one by one. Jus a few of them left, Donghae groped for the door handle, and only because of the hand circled around Hyukjae’s lower back he didn’t end up down to the floor. With another kiss Hyukjae was pushed inside, ending up stumbling against a chair before the back of his legs met with the edge of his bed. 

Everything stood still for a minute, their hot and loud breaths the only noises in the room. Hyukjae’s fingers were curled over Donghae’s waistband, Donghae’s hands on his. If it had been any other person, he’d probably ended up babbling randomly to calm himself, but with Donghae, he didn’t need to say anything. He saw everything in the stormy hazel as he laid his fingers on the shirt buttons again, opening the last three. Donghae followed the movements with a hungry gaze, holding his breath as the fabric fell off his shoulders, Hyukjae’s fingers brushing his skin.

Hyukjae marveled the sight; the toned muscles of a goalie, the slightly tanned skin that trembled as he let his hand skim over the chest. His right hand reached the waist, sliding along the belt loops and stopping at the button, but before opening it he reached for the boy’s neck with his lips, leaving feather like kisses on the cool skin. Donghae turned his head to the opposite side, giving him more space and encouraging him to go on. And as Hyukjae sucked the skin lightly, leaving a purplish mark behind, Donghae’s hands sunk down along his lower back, the other sliding into his pants and against his skin. But the hand didn’t stay on his ass, it slid to the front as a weak smirk soared on the corner of Donghae’s mouth, going down along his hard shaft and causing a moan to escape. 

Hyukjae had to tighten his clasp on Donghae’s pants for a moment because it felt good; so good that his head spun faster than it had ever spun when he was drunk, and his stomach rolled around and around, everything burning in and out.

”Fuck,” Hyukjae moaned airily, gasping for more. 

Donghae’s fingers moved along his length, and it was slow and it was insane, and he couldn’t breathe when the other stood before him, every move calm and collected. 

A thumb rolled over the head, and Hyukjae wanted to bit through his lips. When Donghae’s lips appeared on his again, he bit them instead.

Between his shallow breaths, he managed to open the buttons, letting the loose fitting pants fall down to Donghae’s ankles. With a swift kick Donghae got off of them as he softly pushed Hyukjae down to the bed, climbing over him and locking their lips.

Tongues swirled together over gums and lips and back to kisses, impatient and almost desperate.

Eyes followed the lips as Donghae backed off slowly, ending up trailing the bridges of muscle, the grayscale tattoo on the wrist and the erection under the boxers he couldn’t get his eyes off. And when Donghae noticed the look, the heavy gloss under the eyelashes, Hyukjae’s jeans were pulled off and his cock was freed from the boxers, the air hitting him cold. And he didn’t have time to think about consequences, bad ideas and the day afters, when he felt the lips on his lower abdomen, tongue trailing lower and lower, finding no difference to the times it had been done before. 

Except the fact that it had never felt better.

He had no idea what it was–if it was the fact that Donghae was a guy, or if Donghae just had the right style–but as the tip of his cock was buried within Donghae’s lips, taking him deeper, there was nothing but a moaning mess left of him. Donghae’s tongue went around him and he couldn’t stop his back from arching. But Donghae didn’t seem to mind, and instead, he went up and down on him, again and again, forcing the moans to come out as needy as ever and fingers to dig into the sheets. It was something else. Donghae was something else.

”Ohh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Donghae. Fuck.” Hyukjae hated being noisy, but the only effect it seemed to have, was his cock sinking further into the mouth and he could swear he would not be able to handle it much longer.

”F-fuck,” he moaned again, his hard-on hanging between Donghae’s fingers as he let his tongue slide around it. Hyukjae wanted to touch the boy, but if Donghae kept doing him like that he didn’t have a fighting chance. And when the tongue gave him teasing licks on his thighs, he pulled him up, hand tucking the longer strands from the back of his head.

Donghae smiled at him, rolling his tongue over his lips.

”Donghae,” Hyukjae gasped, breathless and a little accusatory.

The smile turned into a grin that filled Donghae’s eyes with tiny little devilish stars.

Hyukjae’s heart skipped a beat. He had a million things going through his head, and the only thing he was able to stutter out loud was another ”Fuck”.

”Yeah?” Donghae noted, his voice reaching Hyukjae’s spine. The shivers returned as he tilted his head, the grin still there, his essence bold and the sandy locks of hair messy and oh so damned sexy.

”Yeah,” Hyukjae said, drifting his fingers through his raven hair, ”Fuck me.” 

He needed him to. 

Donghae’s grin faltered, turning the expression a little stunned. Not surprised, but rather, it made everything real. It was really happening. Hyukjae could see the same desire blazing in the eyes opposite to him. And he waited for Donghae to remark something witty, but the only answer he got was hungry lips and an open mouthed kiss, Donghae’s hard cock rubbing his own as he lowered down over Hyukjae.

With a husky moan Hyukjae reached for Donghae’s boxers and pulled them down to his knees. And as he reached for the lube he kept under his pillow, he realized what he was putting himself into. Or letting put into him. 

He was crazy. They were crazy. He had never given it a lot of thought what he was sexually, but apparently he had a thing for at least one male, Donghae. 

It could’ve been anyone, yet it was him. 

”Say that again,” Donghae suddenly murmured between the kisses and Hyukjae’s hand going along his stomach. 

Hyukjae snapped the bottle open with his other hand, taking a hustled inhale.

”Fuck me,” he repeated. ”I need you to fuck me, okay?”

”Okay.”

Biting his tongue, Hyukjae felt the cold substance over his own fingers. Watching closely for any reaction, he brought them around Donghae’s cock, stroking the erect shaft curiously as his fingers screwed over it, wandering and devouring every detail in the back of his mind. Donghae’s body jerked as Hyukjae gave the touch a little more pressure, his breaths growing shallow as it was followed with a groan of pleasure and furrow of eyebrows. 

He had never seen anything so appealing before. 

After a few minutes of slow torture, Donghae ducked down to cover Hyukjae’s chest with impatient sloppy kisses, pinning Hyukjae’s hand to the mattress. Donghae took the lead again as tongue swirled around his nipple and cold, slick fingers ran down his cock and between his thighs. The tattooed hand kept his hand down although he was already gripping the sheets all by himself, the sensations causing him to lose his breath and a new wave of shivers to dominate his body as the other got closer.

The waiting felt like forever and the mere touch on his naked skin got him panting in lust as he stared Donghae with glassy eyes. He felt hot all over, and he couldn’t stop his other free hand from mindlessly clasping onto Donghae’s waist as he finally felt the finger sliding between his tighs.

Shutting his eyes, his head went blank.

No one had ever done that to him, and he couldn’t deny the first wave of emotions came off little strange and mixed, but he didn’t need wait long for the tactful and gentle jogs of finger to have him wanting more. Donghae kept teasing with his tongue on his neck the same time the finger was pumped into him. It was becoming a new level of pleasure, it was different and strange but it made his blood boil and his skin brittle in anticipation as another finger accompanied the first. The stretch made him to take more attentive inhales, but he got used to it fast, and soon the fingers were dashing against a spot that turned the inhales short and shallow. 

Hyukjae noticed the look of wonder and high on Donghae’s face when the fingers were bent and thrusted deeper, but he didn’t see the result of it as his legs trembled and a new moan came through his lips without a single warning. But as his gaze oriented back to Donghae, a little dazed after getting the first taste of what it was supposed to be, he saw the look, the need in the hazel. Yet it wasn’t just that. The whole night he’d experienced new expressions and sides to Donghae, and the one on his face now must have been one of the most telling yet curious ones. It was bliss to see those eyes that wanted him so bad; that he really made someone feel that way, as if he was pure ecstacy to him, something Donghae would not be able to resist for long. He felt the slight frustration through the scissoring movements and the third added digit, and it was heating his own engine; Hyukjae wanted the boy inside him, he wanted to feel it all with Donghae’s cock, he wanted it deeper, stronger, all the throbs of hard blood pulsating in him.

”E-enough,” he tried to say between his hard gasps, writhing of body. ”I want you. All. Everything.”

Donghae halted, breath hitching on his throat, eating up the words with his ears, as the emptiness took over Hyukjae with the withering fingers. He saw the shaking hands, the stiff body as the younger took the bottle of lube, and coated his cock with the transparent matter. He saw the teeth sinking through lips, the focus on breaths. 

Hyukjae had to kiss him again, he had to feel those lips on his own. 

The moan against the lips locking quivered and shook, as he felt Donghae slowly guiding himself into him. Donghae let Hyukjae bite his lips – hard – as he sunk his all into him. Hyukjae tried to breathe, but it did burn, it hurt, and yet he wanted Donghae even more.

He only let Donghae’s lips go when he was all the way in and he felt his hips so tight against his, with a drop of sweat falling down his temple and shutting of eyes and the wrinkle of pleasure between his eyebrows. The burning faded away, but it was already blending with everything else it made him feel. The euphoria on Donghae’s face was taking Hyukjae higher, and he couldn’t believe how much he wanted it all to himself, to own it, domesticate it, to cause the flames burn brighter.

”Shit.”

He wasn’t sure which one of them said it, or if it was both of them.

Taking deep breaths of hot air, Hyukjae’s hand on Donghae’s waist tightened, the tips of his fingers waking Donghae up from his daze, giving a sign to keep going. Different shades of brown eyes latched, and with a careful pullback Donghae started the slow movements, the sways to and fro. 

They couldn’t stop gazing into each other. Fingertips buried intensively into skin, breaths mingled into one as Hyukjae got accustomed to the sensation, the fullfilment. As he shut his eyes for a second, he felt the hot skin pressing against his forehead. The shortness of Donghae’s breath was beautiful, and the movement against his body, the considerate back and forth, it was drifting him into a hypnotic state. Sex had never felt so intimate, so ground shattering as he let his body answer to the motion.

When the fingers of Donghae’s tattooed hand crossed with his, pressing them against the cold sheets, Hyukjae had a strange sensation, a dangerous thought crossing his mind. It was all originating from lust and drunkenly disorder actions, but somewhere between the lines it felt a bit like making love. But they weren’t in love, so why would it make his heart beat faster, his chest so tight? He had to open his eyes again, to see the yearning fire in Donghae’s. Was the hunger layered with longing, or was he imagining it? Was he only seeing what he wanted to see?

Could a one night stand with a friend actually mean something else than it was?

Before he was too encrossed with the devil in the back of his head, a wave of diversion washed over him, and a loud, throaty moan ran off his lips. It happened again right after, as Donghae changed the pace, aiming for the same spot he’d found. And it was too good, it was too hot and sexy watching Donghae enjoy turning him into a bundle of quivers. Half of the excitement came from just seeing the changes on the young man’s face, the fact how everything he did affected Donghae so greatly. How his pleasure added to Donghae’s. How much every breath, moan and shiver made Donghae want Hyukjae.

And as the thrusts got more confident and powerful, the pleasure coming closer to its peak, Hyukjae lifted himself up on his elbow, drawing Donghae’s lips against his. But before the lips were glued together, he just wanted to feel the heavy breaths against his own. He tried to focus on feeling the occasional trembles of muscles, the throbs of blood boiling under as he shifted his thigh more to the side, letting himself feel the other closer. He was so hard for the guy, and every second Donghae made it worse. Or better. And it was impossible to resist kissing the lips.

Between coarse breaths and tongues tasting one another, Donghae pushed him back into the mattress again. For a long time, Donghae had been able to act rather neutral, but as of now, Hyukjae noted the needy, owning thrusts and fingers clasping onto the skin of his waist.

If he hadn’t been drowning into it before, Donghae made sure of it now.

Teeth bit Hyukjae’s lower lip impatiently, and the pleasure was building up, riding him higher. He was close, and Donghae wasn’t far behind.

He could almost sense that the other wanted to say something, to claim something, but instead, every word he didn’t say out loud, he felt on his skin, on his breath and the longing in his eyes. But he had no chance to question, when he was already going over the edge. 

His body betrayed him as a rush of quivers took over him and he gripped so hard on the other’s waist as white lights and colorless spots painted his eyesight. 

”D-Donghae,” Hyukjae moaned hard, eyes sewn shut as he mindlessly brought his hand to pull from Donghae’s hair and shoulder, wishing it was possible to feel every inch of him even closer.

The boy didn’t mind, as he ate up Hyukjae’s lips, breathing sharply into his mouth. ”Fuck... You’re...” But Donghae’s words died in the middle, and Hyukjae couldn’t decide if him orgasming and coming between their bodies interrupted the sentence, or if Donghae just couldn’t say it out loud. He couldn’t really focus, as the thrusts still brushed over the sensitive spot, shutting his head entirely. Whole body going through a load of shivers, as if it was never going to end, it was hard to catch a breath. 

The sensations taking all his might, he managed to circle his leg behind Donghae’s lower back, forcing him all the way through as the boy finally came inside him. He didn’t know why he wanted Donghae to fill him, or why he wanted to feel the hot semen in him. But it had his cheeks flushing when he did, burying his teeth into his lower lip. Donghae panted, leaning over Hyukjae as he let himself ride out the end. His chest rose and fell, and the trickles of sweat trailed the tanned skin, licking its way down his neck and all the way to his stomach.

There was no way in hell Hyukjae would be able to forget how sexy the other looked all naked and sweaty, beat and satisfied after having sex. It didn’t help a shit, when Donghae pulled out of him carefully before leaning down to explode his mind with a set of lips and tongues even if they were both exhausted.

The kisses grew lazier, but it was as if neither really wanted to stop, until Donghae cleared his throat, backing off from Hyukjae’s lips just enough to look him in the eye. Hyukjae saw the little smirk, a little tentative as the tongue licked over the lips.

”I guess you turn me on a little,” Donghae murmured huskily, the words causing Hyukjae’s skin to brittle again.

He was still trying to get down from the high that having sex with Donghae was, and his head was still mostly a blank page shouting error. Thinking straight, or gay for that matter, wasn’t on the top of the list at the moment.

But Donghae managed to make Hyukjae snort. Absent-mindedly, the raven haired let his hand trail over Donghae’s damp chest.

”A little?”

”Something like that,” Donghae replied, lying down right next to Hyukjae, letting his jaw rest against the shoulder underneath. ”You’re fucking sexy.” The boy’s eyes were already closed when he pulled half of the blanket over them, too tired to get up again to get the whole blanket to use.

A small grin swayed over Hyukjae’s lips, even if in the back of his head the devil inside wanted to make himself heard. It wasn’t supposed to be anything more, and if nothing else, he just wanted to enjoy the few minutes of quiet before he was to wake up to the next day clear headed again.

It wasn’t like it was going to happen again anyway.


	3. Defy Me

defy me;

 

The snowfall that had turned into rain hammered against the bedroom window as fingertips trailed over spine, rushing the shivers to dash along his skin. It could’ve been the cold air, the lack of cover over his upper body, but that wasn’t it. He couldn’t decide if it felt the same as it did hours ago; if it was suppose to raise so many questions instead of being final, as simple as an answer why water melted ice. Why was it the calm before the storm, when it should’ve been the first flur of snow that ended a season? It wasn’t supposed to have a continuum, but Donghae’s fingers and the hot breaths lingering over his shoulder caused the waves inside his stomach to return, and flashes of the night to take Hyukjae back to the moments filled with shortened breaths and tremblings of muscle, where every touch spoke louder than any word could ever do.

Lying alone between the cold sheets would’ve been easy.

Hyukjae listened closely, waiting for the vanishing point of everything there had been, until Donghae shifted under the sheets behind him and cleared his hoarse throat.

“Hey.” 

Hyukjae felt the hand rising from his stomach to his waist, grunting as a way to tell Donghae he was awake. The fingers hovered over his skin except the thumb that drew circles under it.

“I need to go.” The spoken words were lackadaisy. Donghae’s movements slow and tacky, yet the touch on Hyukjae’s waist was far from it. 

It didn’t make any sense.

“Work starts in an hour.”

Hyukjae couldn’t find the willpower to open his eyes, and it didn’t seem like Donghae was expecting him to wake up with him either.

It took him a minute to give Donghae an answer, face still buried tight against the pillow, his mouth so dry that it made his voice sound like gravel. “Okay.”

There was none of the tension in the air he’d gotten used to with Donghae, even if it wasn’t usually there when they were alone. But the circumstances had changed. Ending up having sex with a friend was ought to change things. So why was it as if it was the other way around; where was the awkwardness, the regret of doing something that wasn’t supposed to happen?

Hyukjae had to bite down on his lips.

Waking up to cuddles or gentle kisses hadn’t been what he’d had in mind, but neither was this. Why was Donghae still there? What where the lazy strokes and touches about? They weren’t supposed to be there, yet he wanted nothing but be consumed by them. It was puzzling, frustrating. Having a one night stand with a stranger usually followed the same pattern. It was fun while it lasted, but he’d yet to wake up next to someone like Donghae, who didn’t expect anything from it all, yet there was the questionable hover in the air, the uncertainty. One night stands should have been gone before Hyukjae woke up to the day. He wasn’t quite awake yet, but Donghae remained. It was a first. And it caused his head to ache and the swirls inside to knot up.

When Donghae sat up on the bed, lifting the rest of the blanket over Hyukjae, he couldn’t help but wait for a conclusion, an ending, the obvious which never came. His fingers were curled up against the corner of his pillow, eyes sewn shut as a weight left the mattress and clothes started to shuffle in the background.

Then it was silent.

He wasn’t sure if what he heard was Donghae taking a step back, contemplating to do something. It was too early to look for straight lines, and although he wanted to open his mouth to get to the answers, he couldn’t do it. He was afraid another word could’ve shattered the glass, the transparent shield around the two of them. He didn’t want it to break.

Thoughts swaying back and forth without a proper beginning nor an end, his bedroom door was opened, followed with a shamble of steps, and for the first time he let his eyes open as he reached for his phone on the floor. Eyes gazed around the empty room, and the digitals on the screen told him it was 8:32am. With tired moves he let the gadget fall next to him, and his own spent body back to the mattress. The front door clacked and closed with a thud. Donghae was gone.

Before drifting back into a deep slumber, it wasn’t the rain or the temperature that left him cold. It was the scent that he’d gotten addicted to, the touched that burned even after hours. He’d gotten hooked with something that most likely didn’t have a cure for. The one he’d wanted to get rid of in the beginning; the one that was slowly fading and exchanging places with memories that were too raw and real. He couldn’t just push away the moments of ecstazy in the dark hazels, the way fingernails dug into his waist, or the unfinished sentence at the end that wouldn’t tell the core reason of it all.

 

That party was nothing different; music with boosted bass, cheap alcohol flowing through unstable legs, vague conversations and sloppy kisses with strangers. It was his scene, yet he felt like a static figure trapped in a snow globe as if there was an opague glass dome between him and the world. All of it, the usual familiarity, was gone. The moment he’d stepped in the house he couldn’t recall an owner for he’d been submerged within the hurricane rummaging inside. His body hadn’t answered to the electronic music, even to his favorite songs, he couldn’t keep up with gossip and he just couldn’t give a damn about anything. At the beginning of the night he’d grabbed a few drinks, but after few hours, even the alcohol wasn’t enough to stop the hellfire blazing.

It had been a week, and Hyukjae was lost.

Why was everything so fucking confusing? Why couldn’t he forget like everyone else? 

Why was he the one able to see through layers, the one able to see glimpses of the guy Donghae really was, to see what was beneath the surface? Why did it feel so good to be able to cause a crack in the rock shield no one else could open? He’d gotten a taste of it, so how could he ever stop wanting the rest? The storm that grew stronger behind the dark eyes, the way they lit up when Hyukjae had moaned out loud or quivered in pleasure because of his sinfully beautiful actions, was maddening. How could he free himself from something that wasn’t anything to begin with?

He’d been glued to the couch for god knew for how long, and he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to be there, but he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t steer his gaze away from the familiar mop of dyed hair he’d been following like a shark in shallow waters. He was driving himself crazy. He wanted to walk to Donghae, to open his fucking mouth and force him to tell him everything that ran inside his head. He wanted the rest of the world to disappear so he wouldn’t need to gather the courage to face the younger.

“Hyukjae, are you in or out?” Kyuhyn hollered in the middle of a song that felt like acid in Hyukjae’s ears. It was the same song that had played when Heechul had told him the dare two weeks ago.

Sitting in safety, slumped in the corner of the couch, Hyukjae swung his head. “I’ll pass.”

He couldn’t possibly play the game that had gotten him into this in the first place.

Hyukjae let the back of his head fall to the couch’s armrest, closing his eyes as he tried to ignore the surprise on his best friend’s face. 

“The hell?” 

Getting back to the usual should’ve helped. Drinking and having fun should’ve been the way to oblivion, to a place he didn’t need to be haunted with the endless questions, the need to be close again, the desire to turn back time.

“Is he high on something?” Irene’s voice echoed somewhere close, failing at being subtle. It was half a joke, half serious. But even if his name was called, it wasn’t able to wake Hyukjae up from his daze. She watched the guy with a tilted head and furrowed eyebrows, giving a concerned glance towards Kyuhyun on her right side on the floor.

It was the first time Hyukjae had counted himself out of his own game.

Kyuhyun gave the guy sitting on the couch a death glare, but before managing to grunt an annoyed answer, Heechul put in to the conversation with a devilish smirk.

“Or someone.”

Kyuhyun scoffed back. “That dork?”

Heechul eyed Hyukjae and the line of the raven haired boy’s sight, taking a note of the frustrated glimmer in the almond of Hyukjae’s eyes that were hauled to a lean back turned towards them.

“Oh,” Irene mouthed, the only voice tangible in the noise. “Oh. Well damn.”

Hyukjae wasn’t able to hear any of it. He was in too deep. In too deep in the shit that was dressed in gray biker jeans, an oversized black tank top and a hoodie with a drawn motorcycle printed at the back, the familiar collared shirt tied around his waist. Even in the midst of the darkness and dozens of sloshed teenagers, Donghae was the only one he saw.

There was no trace of the smile Hyukjae had only seen visiting the boy’s face when they’d been alone. Donghae fit the scene, but he wasn’t in his element. He was confident but withdrawn, lively to a point that was like a line the boy wouldn’t cross. And even if Hyukjae was sitting meters away from him, the smell of pepper, hot sweat and sweet and tangy citrus fruit filled his nose like a splash of cold water, as if it was something he was conditioned to smell if a mere thought of Donghae surfaced.

But it didn’t take too long before a new crew of guys walked in, towards the ones, including Donghae, who hung around the open space behind the main living room. Hyukjae watched the scene with furrowed eyebrows, seeing how the tension fell immediately around them. It took a minute, but the guys were from the neighboring college, the rivaling lacrosse team. Before the winter break there had been a game that had caused controversy, and it had increased the friction between the two teams.

“The fuck are you doing here?”

Hyukjae could smell the smoke rising, the curious eyes turning when sentences begun to heat. Donghae was in the middle of it, being their team’s trusted goalie. And if he was provoked enough, Donghae found the exact words to get under people’s skin. 

He noted the gritting of teeth, the guy from the other team already rowing about something he couldn’t make any sense of from so afar.

Shoulders tensed up as he sat a bit up from the couch, calling out for his friends’ attention, “Guys.”

Heechul rose his gaze to Hyukjae, following the loud voices over the music to the sight of two teams barking at each other. With a groan, Heechul sat up as well as he understood the warning.

Heechul walked straight to Hyukjae to pull him up from the seat.

“What’s going on?” Irene asked, craning on her knees to see what was happening at the other side of the house.

Hyukjae saw the first shove of arms and chests.

Heechul’s eyes narrowed to a scowl. “Testosterone,” he huffed before disappearing into the sea of people who were too drunk to notice anything happening around them.

Hyukjae’s body was heavy as concrete, and it took him a second to get himself on the move. He had no idea why Heechul had urged him with him, but he rarely managed to disagree with the guy, so he followed him, only to halt halfway to the shouts of rage, snarls and glimpses of fists starting to fly across the teams.

In the distance, Hyukjae heard Heechul’s growl.

“For fuck’s sake.”

Blood boiling he rushed after him, pushing others out of his way.

It didn’t really surprise him when he saw fingers curling around a collar, a head butting another for a clear reply, then the fist collision of right hook and cheekbone. He didn’t hear himself shouting Donghae’s name to deaf ears when a male from the rivaling team, who Donghae had just punched, toppled him over down to the floor, answering with a furious shove against the left side of Donghae’s face.

“Enough!” Heechul shouted, trying to tear them away from each other before things would escalade to worse things than bruised cheeks and hurting egos. He grabbed the guy’s shirt who was close to smashing Donghae’s bones to pieces, ripping them apart. Hyukjae had rarely heard his senior talking with such a savage tone. 

“Get outta here before I get mad.”

It was probably Heechul’s reputation or the piercing steel of his voice that caused the guy to throw him a hasty glance before taking a staggering step away.

Hyukjae stood a little frozen behind them, side-eyeing the situation as Donghae’s teammates pulled the groaning boy up from the floor. But Donghae shook himself off from his helpers, still too far high on his anger that he couldn’t distinguish a friend from the enemy. The guys from his team lifted their hands up in surrender as Donghae had once mistakenly punched one of them, and no one really wanted to take that chance again.

Clenching his teeth, Hyukjae stepped forward and stopped the furious boy on his tracks, clasping his fingers around the front of his tank top. “Donghae.” 

Fiery eyes stared back at him, and for a moment there was nothing but the sharp breaths and Hyukjae’s overpowering posture that could’ve caused a clash if it was anyone else defying Donghae than him. During another fight some time ago, Hyukjae had been the only one managing to calm the younger down. He hadn’t been sure if it would work this time, but the blaze in the eyes was already turning into a cloud of soft smoke. The surroundings faded as he stared into the calming storm, letting his grip lighten as muscles started to relax. He licked his lip, looking at Donghae from under his eyebrows.

He let his hand fall from the shirt when a quivering exhale escaped the lips.

“I...” Donghae clenched his jaw. “I better get some air.”

Hyukjae’s eyes went through the muddled hazels, nodding as Donghae’s shoulders sank. 

And the boy was gone.

Hyukjae let out a breath, raising his fingers to massage the boiling veins on his temples. Donghae had always been a hot-head, yet the fire that made his blood boil was something entirely contradict to anger. It took him a while to get back to the present and the surroundings, the curious eyes and the music that felt louder than it had been before.

As the last trembles of thrill subsided, Hyukjae noticed the smirk on the curve of Heechul’s lips as people started to scatter away.

“What?” he hissed as he rode his fingers through his mess of a hair.

The cheshire smile on Heechul’s face widened.

“So I was right.”

“What the heck are you talking about?”

There was no answer to his question, but the smile didn’t falter. “Go check on him. I’ll get him some ice for that,” Heechul noted, flicking his head towards the terrace where the hot wheels had just disappeared to.

Hyukjae’s eyes followed Heechul’s back as his senior marched towards the kitchen and started to go through the frigerator’s boxes. The remains of the fight were still hovering in the air, the tension cutting through like a knife. Most of the guys from the other school, the rivaling lacrosse team, had already left and the party was about to continue as usual. Fingers clenched, Hyukjae finally turned to take a glance through the window where Donghae sat on the terrace stairs, throwing an empty beer can across the yard as hard as he could. With a sigh, Hyukjae snatched two beer bottles from the kitchen island before stepping out in to the cold night.

If it had been snowstorms the week before, since the morning Donghae had left his apartment it had been raining cats and dogs. And although he preferred the white snow to getting drenched in pouring rain, it was something he’d started to associate with Donghae’s fingers drawing along his spine and breaths meeting his skin. He hadn’t been able to shake off the same thing every morning he opened his eyes, and it was starting to feel like a recurring nightmare.

And for a moment Hyukjae stopped to just take in the sight. He hadn’t seen Donghae during the week as it was winter break and Donghae had filled his free time with shifts at the auto repair shop. He hadn’t really found the courage to make contact either, and in a way, Hyukjae had needed the time to think. 

He wasn’t sure if it were the remnants of the fight that got adrenaline pumping louder through his veins or the fact that it would be the first time facing the other after the night when he took hesitant steps across the terrace.

Donghae pulled his black hood over his head as Hyukjae sat down next to him and placed the bottles between his spread knees. The hood and the sandy hair managed to cover the other half of the boy’s sulking face that had gotten hit, but Hyukjae saw the red cut on the edge of Donghae’s lip. 

It wasn’t anything new; Donghae had a tendency to get into fights, and he’d seen some bruises and cuts before. But this time, everything felt different. It might not be wise to touch him again. Nothing had really changed between them, yet things weren’t the same. Donghae hadn’t ignored him on purpose as far as Hyukjae could tell, but they hadn’t talked anything about the night spent together either. And for some reason, it didn’t bother as much as he thought it would. But he couldn’t deny that every second he was close to Donghae he got more attached. And it terrified him. He was torn between happening and not happening, yet the interspace between everything, the place where he had no idea what it all meant, was the worst.

As he watched the sunken body staring down into nothingness from his peripheral vision, any fear he previously had, was gone. And Hyukjae heard the voice inside his head shouting like a mad man when he reached his hand towards Donghae’s face, trying to brush the hair out of his forehead. But Donghae dodged, gritting his teeth and lowering his gaze to the stairs under them.

“I’m fine.”

At first, Hyukjae felt a punch of his own. But something in him couldn’t take no for an answer. He glared the boy and clicked his tongue, succeeding to make Donghae to turn back towards him. For a moment, Donghae stared at him, hazel wavering.

“Just show me for fuck’s sake,” Hyukjae sighed, grabbing from the edge of the hood to prevent any backing off. His hand rose again to brush of the coarse hair hiding the purplish mark around Donghae’s left eye, and as he observed the stupid battle scars, he noted the eyes that hid something of their own. It caused the chills to return, as the look was so similar to the one that was there a week ago when Donghae had topped him on the couch between countless kisses. 

And when their gazes collided, Donghae was the one to first shake himself away from it. 

“Yeah, you’re going to be fine,” Hyukjae said at last, pulling his hand away as he let his tongue slide over his lower lip. But he couldn’t steer his eyes away. Was he the only one affected, or had the eyes already told him the truth way before?

Without another word, he took a bottle of beer from the stairs, giving it to the other. Donghae took the bottle quietly, opening the cap and taking an eager sip from it, swaying his head around in annoyance that still hadn’t dissipated. But every minute that passed, Hyukjae felt the tension melting. He wanted the other to calm down from his anger before even trying anything else. 

It seemed to pay off when Donghae lowered the bottle from his hands back to the wooden stairs.

Donghae cursed under his heavy breath, nudging his shoulders. “Fuck, I hate people.” His voice was tired, but the tone had softened. He didn’t sound like he was about to give a punch anymore.

Hyukjae fiddled the neck of his own bottle between his fingers, mulling what to answer. But he really didn’t need to filter his words with Donghae.

“All of them?”

A lazy, slow smirk rose to frame the thin lips after a minute, shifting off the weight from Hyukjae’s shoulders.

“I hate everyone,” Donghae murmured, his voice merely a whisper. His eyes were lowered downward, his hands resting against his thighs. “I hate everyone except you. You’re ok.”

Hyukjae watched the boy, the dark contrast around the lightened hair, the red cut on the lips which taste he wanted more of. The words sounded as honest as ever; Donghae really wasn’t a people person even if he managed to chameleon his way to make others think otherwise. But Hyukjae couldn’t decide for sure if it was just a joke, or if it was at least part of a truth. If it was meant to mean more than it was. 

He watched as a tattooed hand pulled a packet out of a pocket, how fingers flicked a lighter over a cigarette before a flame appearead. As Donghae inhaled and straightened his back a little, Hyukjae bit the inside of his cheek. The boy’s dark orbs eyed the stick before taking puff. Had Donghae become his nicotine; the forbidden fruit that would become his downfall? Donghae was sexy, he made him tick in ways no one ever had, and sex with him had been so much more than it was supposed to be. Since the night his expectations had been turned over, and he didn’t even hate it.

As Donghae shifted, waking Hyukjae up from his stupor, a gray puff of air escaped through the lips as Hyukjae side-eyed the sight. All of it, everything, had become his favorite sin.

The boy lifted his gaze back at him, eyes darting through. There were curiosity in the hazel, a hint of tension that wasn’t quite the same as few minutes ago. It was like the uncertainty Hyukjae had seen when Donghae’s hands had tucked from his belt moments before bodies had tangled with each other.

“What?” Hyukjae murmured, the words slipping somewhere from his throat. 

Donghae cleared his throat, searching for the words for a little too long. Hyukjae had a sudden urge to get a reaction of any kind, and when he leaned in to snatch the cigarette from Donghae’s fingers, it caused the latter to wince. The look of suprise was evident, but when Hyukjae stole a puff, crooked teeth bit down on lips. “Do you regret it?”

He inhaled another puff, trying to hide the sudden shivers that shook him. The question wasn’t something he’d waited to hear, but he knew exactly what Donghae was talking about, and the thunder soared under his ribcage again in erratic intervals. But he sucked up the fear; the fear that could’ve consumed him whole if he’d let it.

“Should I?” he grunted, offering the cigarette back to its owner. As it was taken back, fingers brushed along other.

Donghae’s eyes were dark and telling, and the air was soft and heavy to breathe in. The same kind of longing was flickering behind it all, and Hyukjae wanted to own it, just take a grip of it and never let go.

“No.”

And it was as if something clicked, as if something found its place during the darkness of the night.

Yet the air still hitched at Hyukjae’s throat when Donghae leaned towards him and lips brushed lips. It was something brief, not a hello or a goodbye, not a desperate kiss of lovers in the rain. There was a taste of cigarette and alcohol, a hint of iron, something sweet, and even if Hyukjae had kissed lips that had been more soft, more safe than this, Donghae’s were the ones that made him push back to leave a sensation of hot tongues circling in the other’s mouth.

Donghae halted for a second as if a message finally got through. 

When the terrace door finally opened with a creak, and even if Hyukjae didn’t see who was coming, he pulled back an inch, leaving behind a shortened breath that wasn’t his own.

“To be continued,” he mouthed before standing up. And as he passed Heechul holding a pack of ice, he felt the corner of his lips finally taking a hesitant turn up.

 

It was the little alcohol he’d drank early to the night or the kiss that had kept Hyukjae awake till the hours when night started to turn into morning. The same thoughts still circled inside his head even if there was a slight contrast to everything there had been before. The same questions were still without an answer, the emotions still the same thunder waiting for a lightning to clear the darkness away. 

Turning over to his stomach, Hyukjae groped for his phone that laid somewhere close. He couldn’t shake off the image of lips that had leaned against his. He still saw the longing flashing in front of his eyes, and it was too much, yet he only wanted it back. When the fingers finally found the phone, Hyukjae checked the time. It was 4:23am, and he’d already been tossing and turning in his own bed for hours since he’d left the party just minutes after Donghae had kissed him.

He wasn’t sure why he’d left, but it was as if everything he’d thought could’ve been lost, was actually found. 

And the moment he was about to let the phone fall back to the mattress, it rang.

The electronic ringtone echoed inside the dark empty room, freezing time. The loud thuds on his chest seemed to want to saw through him, but he forced himself to look at the screen, the flashing light and the powerful name on it.

Swallowing hard and trying to normalize his breaths, Hyukjae swiped his finger over the green icon. At first he couldn’t hear anything but breaths not of his own, as if the silence was daunting him to speak up. 

“It’s four in the morning,” he finally said.

“But you’re awake,” Donghae’s voice replied.

Hyukjae sat up on the bed, fiddling the sheets. Donghae’s scent still lingered. 

“I...” Donghae continued, hesitant. “Can I come up?”

Hyukjae’s heart must’ve skipped a beat.

“What?”

There was hint of a chuckle Hyukjae almost missed.

“It’s a shit storm out here, and the front door’s locked.”

Hyukjae heard the sharp drops drumming against his window as his head turned like a damned washing machine waiting for something to pull the plug so the thoughts running mile high would stop.

“Downstairs. Get your ass here, now. I saw the light at your window. I’m freezing.”

Hyukjae felt his fingers trembling. “Just a sec.”

As if there was a sudden energy rushing through his veins, the possibility for sleep disappeared into the back of his mind when he jumped off his bed. It was a struggle of mind and body to get out of his apartment; finding his keys took too long and the elevator was damned slow, and it felt like forever to find his way to the front door in the dark because he couldn’t find a switch to turn on the light. 

His head was speeding too fast at that time of the night.

In a way he expected it to be a bad joke or a nightmare. It was too ordinary, too typical of Donghae to appear in the middle of the night just because he felt so or his brother might’ve kicked him out again. It was too soon after the kiss. He could’ve seen another week going by without anything changing directions, everything falling back to what it used to be and the one time they had happened sinking into oblivion without another word.

Although he’d been called fucking sexy along with heavy breaths and owning thrusts he hadn’t thought the words could’ve really meant anything beyond the moment.

And as Hyukjae walked past a corner and the dim light behind the glass front door shone through, he could’ve just passed out from the mere agony of it all and the anxiety tightening around him as he saw Donghae leaning against the wall, the sandy beach now darkened by the water falling from the sky. 

Why had he let Donghae fuck him—and not the least his mind?

Hyukjae almost tripped over the treshold as he reached the front door looming ahead of him. With a deep inhale, he turned the handle, opening the door to meet hazy eyes that devoured him alive with a tired curl at lips’ end.

“Tripping sober,” Donghae said with a half-ass grin. “Took you long enough.”

Cratching the nonexistent itch on his neck, Hyukjae answered with a scoff as he let the boy walk past him. All the words, everything he could’ve said, just disappeared from his head the moment the scent of motor oil hit his head like a hammer, the spices following suit. 

How was he supposed to act like nothing ever happened?

Hyukjae was far from fearless when they stepped into the elevator in silence before the only thing splitting it was the engines humming. The metallic box had never made him feel so claustrophobic as it did now, when the boy with a bruised eye and cut lip stood lazily next to him.

He couldn’t help but curse at the back of his mind when his tongue betrayed him.

“Why’d you come?”

Donghae tossed his neck, leaning against the mirror on the wall behind them. He turned his head to give Hyukjae a nonchalant shrug. 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

He already regretted it. “Is that all?”

Donghae walked out of the elevator, which Hyukjae hadn’t noticed, had already stopped at its tracks. The shivers crept along his back, but he’d be lying to himself if he’d said it was because of the dark hallway, and not the boy he’d let into his apartment again.

He didn’t wait for an answer when he opened the door, walking in first just to shut the devil on his shoulder from mocking him. The quietness was corroding as he halted, waiting for the fire to catch him. He couldn’t turn and face the young man. Everything about him took him back to the night, and it was a dangerous game. But the deck had already been dealt, and he’d been left to deal with the consequences.

Taking a deep breath, Hyukjae tried to find any piece of the courage he’d had during the party. But as he turned to face Donghae, collecting himself in order to say something, anything, it was all for nothing. Donghae looked at him, his wet hair dripping over his bruised eye, as he let his hoodie drop to the floor. It felt like an eternity and a split of a second as Donghae walked to him, taking off the tank top that had previously licked his muscles. Hyukjae’s eyes dropped and rose as the hazels gazing back at him stole the ground from under his feet.

It was still the same. Donghae made all sense and gravity disappear, and he didn’t even mind.

The distance shortened way too soon, and Donghae was already too damn close.

And Hyukjae could only succumb.

The only thing that mattered at that point were the breaths mingling with his own, the lips waiting to collide with his. The drumms inside him wouldn’t subside, and he was going crazy, he wanted to escape and he wanted to get caught. A cold hand was lifted over his waist, brushing over the clothed skin as if they were trying to defy him, provoke, to force him to make the first move that would cause a shift.

“Oh, fuck you.” The words were a whisper escaping Hyukjae’s lips as he just couldn’t take it anymore, and it was a mess of lips and sharp breaths that had been held in for too long, with Hyukjae pulling the boy close as the hand on his waist snuck under his shirt at last.

Donghae’s breaths against his lips in between the kisses, teeth crazing soft skin, Hyukjae felt them all through his bones, lighting up the fire that had been smoldering in for so long. And it all burst into hot burning flames when Donghae breathed in, pushing them against Hyukjae’s bedroom door.

“I didn’t think this would happen again,” Hyukjae murmured against the lips that didn’t want to let him go.

“Then you were wrong.”


End file.
